Principled Leadership For A Better Community

In the Spring of 1998 I was floundering. My marriage was great, Leslie and I had been married for three and a half years. My career was doing well, I was helping families purchase homes and had already developed a reputation in the local industry as a hard working and honest mortgage broker. I was active in the community, volunteering for projects through the Long Beach Board of Realtors and also with the Long Beach Education Foundation. Externally everything seemed fine, but you know what they say about a book and its cover. Inside something was amiss.

I could not put my finger on the source of my discontent, if it even was discontent. Something was not clicking and evidently it was beginning to show. About this time a local real estate agent whom I knew a bit better than most had introduced me to a new client. Both of the women were older than me, in fact both have children close to my age. Both were active in the community, and both began to encourage me to apply for a leadership program I was aware of and knew several people who had been involved with the program. So insistent committed were Pam Spoo, the real estate agent, and Gayle Clock that I apply for the program that Pam slid an application under the door to our company at 5:00 a.m. on the way to the airport for vacation.

Wow, I thought, someone that committed about this; I should really take their advice seriously.

Before applying for the program I called three or four people I knew and trusted who had been through the LLB program and each of them said, "I cannot tell you exactly what you will get out of it, but I can tell you if you have the opportunity to participate in the program you most definitely should. It will change your life and be very positive for you." The part of me that was feeling disconnected grabbed onto to this recurring theme and said, "apply and see what happens." I completed my application for the Leadership Long Beach Class of 1999 to begin in August 1998.

Soon thereafter I was called for an interview and met with three alumni of the program, Mark Bixby, David Neary, and Minnie Douglas. Three people I did not know, though I had met Mark a few times in the past, but would come to know very well through the years. A few weeks following the interview I was contacted and told I had been selected to participate in the upcoming class.

Late in August I found myself in a stark corridor outside the auditorium at Long Beach Community Hospital. At the time who knew that in a few years I would be a member of the board of directors of Community Hospital of Long Beach after it was shut and re-0penned and later serve as the Chairman of the Board largely because I was standing in that hallway that morning. The class was to start at 8:00 and it was about 7:45, not surprisingly I was early. So were two other people, Janine O'Hare and Jerry Caligiuri. To break the ice with these strangers I said, "we better get to know each other because we will probably be the first ones at every class...we're the early people." Prescient.

And thus began a journey from August 1998 through today. The class met from August through June on the first Monday of every month with a three day retreat in the local mountains in September. I had twenty-eight classmates who were complete strangers at 8:00 a.m. that August morning of our first class and now are all people I know fairly well, some very well having made life-long friendships and relationships. We met at various venues through the city from the hospitals to the new Aquarium of the Pacific to the colleges to the Water Department. Our class had or conceived I believe five children during our class time together (including Leslie and I) and as a class we brought forth five class projects for the Long Beach community.

But my journey with Leadership Long Beach did not end. I was fortunate to serve in various capacities on the Executive Committee and board of the organization, including President. About five or six years I was able to go up the mountain once again as part of a team to facilitate the weekend retreat for new class members in the program. The eeriest was in 2001 when our retreat began days following 9/11. I remember the joy I felt one morning when I looked up and saw contrails in the high mountain sky knowing the terrorists had not won, commerce and travel were resuming following the tragedy.

It has been my fortune to participate in class days through the years as either a day chair constructing the curriculum or being a panelist fielding questions and engaging the members of the class in issues, able to challenge their perspectives.

Central to all of this participation on my behalf however was the engagement and participation in that first year, my class year. As we went through each class and dissected core leadership principles I began to feel more and more complete and whole. I recognized that I was in need of change in my life as there was no congruence between all aspects of my life, that I was being challenged to adhere to my own principles which matched those of the organization. Eventually I did make on major change, I left the company where I had worked for ten years and with some partners we formed Stratis Financial in September 1999.

Also changing during the period of our class was our home, Leslie and I sold our home in Los Altos and purchased our current home in Bixby Knolls. And as stated above, being open to change in my life the ultimate change occurred and Blaire was born in September 1999. I firmly believe that because I was open to change, deep internal change, and a re-alignment of my core values: of committing to living with integrity, been accountable and taking personal responsibility that I became whole. My internal and external balance were restored as I knew that how I wanted to live was how I was supposed to live and there was this great group of people who supported and encouraged such a life. Principled leaders also committed to living principled lives for the betterment of their lives and also our community were all around me, I just never knew them or saw them.

Now I do. I know that if I come from a place of integrity I can offer opinions, offer myself, offer my talents or offer my resources without concern or worry as to how they will be taken because I know the source and intention with which they are being offered. Never one to be shy with my thoughts or words, Leadership Long Beach training and development, both during my class year and in the years since volunteering to assist the organization and classes, has re-affirmed that honesty and integrity are very much valued in our community.

In college we have the opportunity as young adults free, or almost free, from our parents homes and direct influences to form strong relationships that can last a life time. For those of us who lived on campus it enables us to spending prolonged periods of time together with only our friends to help us solve our problems and allow us to help them solve theirs. During four years of living so closely with others and going through the pressure of exams, relationships and the changes that occur as we transition from dependent teenagers to adults starting a new life and careers, we learn who is trustworthy, who is dependable and who has the strength and depth of character we admire and gravitate to.

After college it becomes more difficult to form deep, personal relationships as we do not have the same opportunities. We have work relationships based on hierarchies. We have neighborhood relationships based on proximity. We have children relationships based on our kids schools and activities. But we rarely have the opportunity to develop deep, lasting and strong personal friendships and relationships.

Leadership Long Beach provides this opportunity and personally it is the greatest benefit I have received from my decade plus association with the organization. Almost anywhere or any meeting I go to in Long Beach I see people who I have met through the LLB organization. No ice breaker needed. Because of the openness and honesty of the communication in the classes and meetings there is no need to try to play a role, just a need to be myself.

Through the years I have heard many people say, "I don't need Leadership Long Beach I know a lot about this city." Or, "I'm established in my career and I can't see how it will benefit me."

I've also heard executives in the fifties who are deeply involved in the community say "I wish I had done this ten years ago." I have heard small business owners say, "this is the best thing I ever did for my business, not because of what it did for my business but because of what it did for me so I can do better by my business."

Those who think they cannot benefit from Leadership Long Beach, no matter what stage of life or career they are in, are saying they cannot benefit from spending time building new relationships, cannot benefit from sharing common principles such as integrity, accountability, ethics, with others, cannot benefit from learning more about their community and city. No one is above this program, anyone open to principled leadership will benefit and I encourage you to apply for the program.

If you feel you can benefit from associating with an organization whose mission statement is to "connect principled leaders for a better community," that you can benefit from forming and developing new personal relationships that will add a richness to your life, that you can benefit from learning more about the community where you live and/or work, then I encourage you to apply for the Leadership Long Beach Class of 2011 (link below). Who knows, maybe we'll meet as part of your interview for the program.


Click here for an application for the Leadership Long Beach Institute.

If you know a high school student who would be interested in the youth leadership program applications are being accepted for that program as well. Click here for Youth Leadership Long Beach application.

Or for more information contact Executive Director Peter Bostic or Program Director Jeff Williams at 562-997-9194.


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Ethics

What are the ethics of hoping someone has misbehaved so you can back-up your "gotcha" philosophy?

Is it ethical to create misconceptions for other people about someones behavior?

How ethical is it to destroy someone else's personal relationship?

Can people be trained to be ethical or are ethics learned as they are experienced?

If someone must attend "ethics training," whose ethics are they learning and how does he know the trainer is ethical?

If someone does something which you disagree with does that make them unethical, even that act is legal?

Whose ethics are more important, yours, mine, society's, whose?

Is it ethical to presume someone is misbehaving merely because they are in personal contact with someone you mistrust?

I love conversations about ethics. For the past three or four years I have had the honor of facilitating a discussion on how to define ethics for Leadership Long Beach's incoming class of participants. When a discussion on how to define ethics is started it quickly becomes apparent that ethics, like art, is hard to describe; we know it when we experience it. Or better yet in regards to ethics, we know it when we don't experience it.

The challenge with defining ethics, for me, boils down to "whose ethics?" Your personal ethics based upon your moral code, or my ethics based on my moral code? The ethics of your company or organization? While many like to purport a single standard of ethics, I challenge the assertion. A few simple questions shows that ethics are not universal. Is abortion ethical? Is the death penalty ethical? Is the confiscation of private property ethical? Is denying the homeless woman asking for food ethical? Is killing someone ethical? If they have broken into your home and endangering your children? Is something ethical just because it is legal?

Ethics, for me, are actions directed by morals that separate "good" from "bad." If we share the same morals then we probably share many of the same ethics. Companies and organizations have a culture that determines the ethics of that organization, typically based on the morals of the leadership and their values. As a society we have overlapping ethics, picture everyone walking around with the "ethics circle" surrounding them, some circles perfectly overlap and some are never touched--almost as if within society they have no circle. From the shared morals and ethics of the majority we derive our laws. Being a Republic our laws then govern us. Shared ethics codify in law.

Part of my ethics is understanding they are mine and may not conform to yours and vice versa. Therefore it is probable there are times when you consider me unethical, or I consider you the same. As long as neither of us is breaking the law and can disagree on what is ethical we can peacefully coexist. When you begin to feel that your ethics are more important than mine, that your moral compass is superior to mine, that I am being unlawful, immoral and unethical, in a situation where I feel I am not, when that happens we have a problem.

I am not a big fan of Conspiracists (don't look it up, I just typed it). Those who think every move made by someone in leadership or power is either unethical or illegal and done merely for self-advancement or monetary gain. You know the ones I am talking about, an elected official sneezes in their presence and they accuse them of trying to give them H1N1 to silence their criticism. The ones who find someone they dislike and then they create dislike and mistrust within the community. Using broad brushes they paint anyone who comes into contact with that person because to them he is unethical and always dealing in unethical matters. Conspiracists enroll others behind their attacks and accusations with the sole goal of discrediting other people's character and motives, essentially working to destroy careers. All under their banner of "ethics." Their perception of right and wrong. Because someone disagrees with them or wants to pursue an opportunity they do not like Conspiracists become personal in their attacks, move the discussion away from the opportunity or issue and instead try to make it a discussion on character. Conspiracists tend to be narcissistic and holier than thou, and me.

In the process they damage a community, create divides, breed contempt and facilitate mistrust. When they have accomplished this they smile and say, "look at what I have done, I have won."

For those not in the Long Beach area such a construction of false information and false accusations of unethical behavior is gripping our City Hall. Our City Council is immersed in discussions and debate and details to determine how to control individuals ability to speak with members of our government. A howl has arisen in our community demanding that anyone who leads a company, wants to create opportunities in our community for jobs and development, be limited in how and when and where they can present their ideas and opportunities to city officials. Our city is on the verge of codifying mistrust and declaring no one behaves "ethically" on their own, essentially saying the city is in the habit of hiring and electing unethical individuals whom we should mistrust.

This is all as a result of an over-reaction to a trip taken by two lifelong friends and their families. Two men who grew up together, whose wives and children are friends, had a weekend get-away with their wives as friends are apt to do. One friend is a consultant and represents a myriad of businesses and organizations who have businesses, or wish to have businesses, in the City of Long Beach. One friend works for the City of Long Beach and reviews and analyzes new projects and developments for the City Manager and Council. The families stayed at a hotel owned by one of the consultant's clients and at check out, without the city employee's knowledge or consent, issued a discount. We know this because upon returning to Long Beach and learning of the discount our ethical city employee repaid the discount and disclosed it to his bosses.

His ethics empowered him to action to do what was right. Now he is under scrutiny and an aura of mistrust and deceit is being built around him by the Conspiracists for they have long ago put his friend the consultant on their radar as someone to attack personally and professionally. By doing the right thing, by behaving ethically, our stalwart, competent and professional city employee has been tarnished.

Is it ethical to attack someone for doing what is right? Or would it be ethical to say, "this is what we expect of all of our employees, when they find out something happened that is not right to expose it, accept it and correct it?"

By their actions the Conspiracists have created an environment where future mistakes that are discovered may be covered up instead of exposed for fear of personal attacks and possible damage to their careers. By attacking two men who are life long friends for being friends the Conspiracists have made our city a bit more unfriendly to businesses, have created a bit more separation between City Hall and city residents and businesses, have created a bit more "Us" versus "Them" in our community. How is that for ethical behavior?

Ethics, I know them when I experience them, I know them more when I don't. Craig Beck is a good man who does good things for our city. Mike Murchison is a good man who does good things for our city. Both have good morals, good values and good ethics. Both work hard to improve our city and community. Neither deserves the treatment they are getting from the Conspiracists, who are getting too much press and exposure.

I hope there friendship continues for many, many years and it includes more trips together enjoying each others company and families. It isn't ethical to turn our backs on our friends when they have done nothing wrong.