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Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Conspiracy Theories

My hand has been slapped a few times by the publishers and editors of the Long Beach Post because they want me to tie the issues I write about on My Front Porch directly into Long Beach, while I take the position that if you feel we are a global community then every issue relates locally as well as nationally and internationally, they do not tend to agree so many of my thoughts on national and international issues are left out of my contributions. It is their site however it is their content requirements I abide by for my posts. I will use this forum which has one one-hundreth of the views of the LBPost (if I am lucky) to put forth some of my crazier ideas. That said here are some theories I have been ruminating about that pertain to my community only in that they pertain to every community. I use the term conspiracy theory as these go to the dark side of current or perhaps future events; note they are all just my opinions and I have no proof of any of them being real...yet!

Obama ending Hillary's career: A lot of people are wondering why President-Elect Obama would nominate Hillary Clinton as his Secretary of State. My conspiracy theory is that now that Obama has knocked out the biggest power players in the Democratic Party in Hillary and Bill Clinton he is going for the jugular and finishing them off politically. By nominating Hillary to SecofState, Obama gets her out of the Senate where should could continue her campaign for President in 2012 or 2016; as SecofState I believe she can no longer fund raise for campaigns; as well part of the deal between them is Bill will disclose donors to his Presidential Library. So the nomination and subsequent confirmation shuts off the flow of funds the Clintons have become accustomed to since leaving office--or at least stems the flow from a gush to a trickle. The confirmation hearings could, and should, get pretty nasty if the Republicans on the committee treat Hillary the way so many Bush nominees have been treated the past eight years in Senate confirmation hearings. Who will bring up Vincent Foster first? Campaign donations from phantom donors in New York's Chinatown? Bill's international jet setting with Ron Burkle and "friends" ? By putting Hillary in the Cabinet Obama is able to control her exposure and her message. At some point there has to be a falling out, no one controls a Clinton, and when that happens, when Hillary is no longer a member of the Cabinet her political career is over.

Hillary gets even richer: When she is shoved out of the Secretary of State position my theory is that Hillary finally divorces Bill since she has no more use for him and hits the speaker circuit and corporate boards and makes even more tens of millions. If there is anything the Clintons love more than themselves and power it is tens of millions.

Chavez invades Cuba: Because they never really think things through Socialist dictators do what pleases them and angers their enemies. I think that Venezuelan "President" Hugo Chavez will "invade" Cuba before the end of 2008 to force President Bush to react and probably mobilize U.S. forces into the Caribbean. Recently Russian President Dimitri Medvedev visited both Venezuela (with part of his navy) and Cuba; giving three world leaders who have no positive emotions for President Bush, or the United States, getting together a few months before we transition from Bush to Obama.
"Hey Dimitri, what would you think if I were to send my troops into Cuba to, um...let's say to put down an 'uprising'?" asks Chavez making quote signs in the air.
Medvedev thinks for a moment and says, "Let me ask Fidel and Raul when I see them tomorrow. But I like where you are going with this!"

Pakistani based Islamists Attack U.S. The same group(s) responsible for the attacks in Mumbai last week will try something similar in U.S. after Obama is sworn in as President. Obama is on the record as saying we should go into Pakistan. Attacks in the U.S. based out of Pakistan will force his hand and pretty much mandate U.S. incursions into Pakistan. This will destablize Pakistan, which is what the Islamists desire, further provoking India into a war and also serve as an issue to recruit more terrorists for their suicide missions. With thousands of boys being indoctrinated across Pakistan in terrorist controlled madras school they have plenty of potential recruits.

Big 3 Automaker Threats. The Big 3 automakers will continue to threaten Congress with shutdowns and closure until they get their money, then do it again in ten months to get more. After that with mid-term elections approaching the Big 3 and the UAW will get by on earmarks so their friends (D) in Congress do not lose their re-election bids in 2010 and then continue to create a fully government subsidized American automaker industry.

Vegans and Environmentalists will unite to shut down my barbecue. This is the one I fear the most. In order to reduce the number of animals slaughtered so that I, and hundreds of other Americans, can enjoy the ritual of barbecuing and eating meat, the vegan coalition will join forces with the uber-liberal factions of the envionmentalists to ban barbecuing in California because of the emissions from our grills. Not only does the barbecue emit smoke, if done properly, but it requires the used of wood and you know where that comes from! So I am denuding the forests, polluting the air and killing innocent bovine just so I can enjoy a perfectly tender and tasty slice of tri-tip---I must be stopped!

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